Isolation

I'm lost in this world, in this society. I feel hanged in a off-season closet. As depressed and sad this can sound, this is hardly an acurate portrait of reality. I can say people tend to stay away from me, to keep me out, but that attitude is a reflection of me. Often, I get out, I keep myself from the crowd. Stupid one could say, but simple survival, as I need it to keep sanity.

I could go out more, I could be surrounded by people all the time, but that's not me. I could have more friends, real friends, but I like finding much more than looking. Lazy me... But thinking, as I keep doing, remembering past experience, how much fun did I really had? How much worthwhile experiences do I have to tell? How much did I grow as a person? Different answers to these questions, same conclusion. Not as much as one might think. Not nearly as much as I would like to.

Even so, human nature tricks me into wanting the life that others have, have the fun and friends that I never did. This is one of the most senseless inner arguments that I keep having. I'm in a crossroad, in which I don't want to stay, but I'm not sure I want to go anywhere too...

27/10/2006 00:12

Pensa naquilo que tens e não no que não tens.

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